Author: Doug Rutherford

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So, how does Game of Thrones end?

There are four more episodes of Game of Thrones left and it’s time for wondering how this all pans out. I’ve made a few predictions about who would end up on the Iron Throne over the years; however, these have changed over time.

I’ve made some major changes after the last episode, keeping in mind George R. R. Martin’s penchant for (politely put) surprises. So, I’m going to write mine down this week and see how close I am to guessing the ending. Who lives? Who dies (and how)? Who ends up on the Iron Throne? What happens to the major characters?

No, I’m not going to post these until after the final episode. I hate spoilers and suspect many others feel the same way.

Maybe, everyone else who wants should do the same (and, no, don’t post them). Think of this as a contest with no winners and no prize. I would be curious to see, though, how close every one came. I’ll post mine a few days after, just to make sure everyone has seen the final episode…

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Ottawa Fringe schedule set

I have my Ottawa Fringe performance schedule (although it won’t be finalized until next month). There are six shows scheduled. All will be at the ODD Box theatre, 2 Daly Avenue, Ottawa.

Date and time:

Friday, June 14th: 7 PM
Saturday, June 15th: 2 PM
Sunday, June 16th: 10:30 PM.
Tuesday, June 18th: 8:30 PM
Thursday, June 20th: 9 PM
Saturday, June 22nd: 6:30 PM

Admission for all shows is $12.00.

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Upcoming production

My latest play, The Last President of Canada, is being produced this spring. We are doing four shows in Whitehorse at the Old Fire Hall, May 23-26, and one show at the Globe Theatre in Atlin, BC on June 1, with a lot of help from the Residency@YAC program run by the Yukon Arts Centre. This is my chance to tune up any issues that need work before hopefully running it in one or more fringe festivals next summer. I have already applied for the Ottawa in June and have to get around to putting in for Winnipeg in July. More news to follow as things firm up.

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For Sale: one vote (redux)

Since we have a municipal election coming up on October 18th, I thought it might be  good idea to throw out my formula for how to buy my vote again.

So here are some hints for those who want to get voted in. Note that this probably applies for all elections. A political campaign is a job interview of sorts and the electorate’s only way to choose the right person for the job is the platform put forward by the candidate. So, when expressing your platform:

1. If you intend to deal with an issue, explain how you intend to fix it in detail. Everyone loves kittens, rainbows and unicorns, but general campaign promises without details are usually best moved to the field with a backhoe to make next year’s crop grow that much better. If you cannot provide details, it means you know nothing about the subject other than what to call it.  Honestly, we have enough elected representatives who know nothing. We don’t need more.

2. Prove you have an understanding of jurisdictional responsibility. Each level of government has its responsibilities. If you’re running for one, don’t make promises about things that come under another level of government. This only indicates that you have no clue about the position you aspire to, and probably indicates your level of qualification for it.

3. If you promise something, be prepared to vote that way when the time comes. There is no excuse for supporting something you said you would not support or vice versa. The common story is “after studying the issue,…” or words to that effect. If it was a promise made in your campaign, it meant that you already studied the issue, or should have. Changing your mind in this manner means you either knew nothing about your stand on the issue, or you simply meant to lie your way into office. Unfortunately, we have too many of those cases, too.

4. Have some idea of how financing works. While governments and businesses run through two completely different models and experience in one has no relevance to the other, the general rules of finance are still the same. It’s the same as a household budget, too. You can only spend what comes in. Whether through transfers, taxation or borrowing, this income is the maximum you have to provide vital services. And, unlike a business, you simply can’t close the plant and move to somewhere offering lower operating costs. Explain (in detail, again), how you intend to meet your promises and still afford to provide those services.

By the way,  experience in business means nothing in terms of experience in government and saying otherwise means you don’t have a clue of how governments work and should not be running for elected office. It’s a lot like saying you can fix your car so you are a brain surgeon.

5. Be honest. Admit it when you don’t know something. Take responsibility for those times when your ideas don’t work. Sometimes you’re going to have to make unpopular decisions (some of the decisions previous councils have been decried for are some I heartily approved of). People aren’t going to be happy with everything you do, but will be far more willing to accept it, grudgingly, if you can show you honestly and sincerely feel this is the best choice. The only way to do this is have a long history of being honest and sincere and it doesn’t take much to indicate that these are characteristics you don’t have.

So, there’s my pitch. These aren’t that much in the way of demands for buying my vote. I know it seems a lot, but you’ll probably find that the same price will purchase far more votes than mine…

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Yukon Playwrights Conference, 2018

We covered a lot of interesting topics at the Playwright’s Guild of Canada conference in Whitehorse last weekend, and terminated it with a public reading of excerpts from several playwrights’ works. I did a reading from the project I’m currently working on, a solo play on Paul Joseph Chartier, who tried to bomb the House of Commons in May 1966.

All told, it was a great conference. Thanks to the Playwright’s Guild, Gwaandak Theatre, and Access Copyright for a great time.

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Catching up

I haven’t been very prolific here for a while. Seems that, when camping season ended, my spare time followed.

That being said, I started my last teaching year in September. I was going to retire last May, but the program is probably being either temporarily suspended or phased out in total and I said I’d stay and teach out the last students in the program. This semester is rapidly coming to an end, and my last work day is May 18th. It’s timed perfectly. It will be camping season, so I get to take the May long weekend and make it quite long. Also, it’s graduation, so my last official act at work is to go to convocation.

I did make plans based on retiring last May. I auditioned for a part in a new touring musical called Stonecliff, based on the life of Michael Heaney, who was one of the builders of the White Pass and Yukon Route Railway. This was named one of the engineering wonders of the world. Suffice to say, doing this while still working took some flexibility… and lack of sleep.

I’ve been busy dealing with the last play I started, based on Paul Joseph Chartier, the man who tried to throw a bomb onto the floor of the House of Commons in May 1966. As you may guess, his attempt was unsuccessful. All he really accomplished was blowing up the third floor men’s room in Centre Block of the House. And, himself.

I’m waffling between having two separate blog pages. There is a second one started, although I may just keep the one. I have moved the material I place there on this page as well. This has some information on the plays I’ve been working on and some excerpts from them. This is, of course, a work in progress. I’ll decide shortly if I intend to keep the second.

And, that’s the Cole’s Notes version of what’s happened since September…

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In quest of the perfect s’more

There are camping traditions and then, there are perfect camping traditions. One of these is the necessity to make and eat at least one s’more per trip. To some, it’s not the taste of these morsels but the activity itself. This is especially true for that point in the camping trip when your children say, “There’s nothing to do. We’re boooooored!”

Personally, I am good for more than one s’more per day for each trip, but some people may find this a bit too much for their waistlines.

To those not familiar, a s’more is a toasted marshmallow and a piece of chocolate sandwiched between two Graham wafer halves.  They are a little on the rich side, and those of us with beards also have issues too gooey to discuss in polite company.

There are multitudinous opinions on what constitutes a perfect s’more. Some are traditionalists, insisting that the marshmallows must be toasted and placed upon an unheated chocolate piece and wafers. Some are more picky, heating their wafers and chocolate over the campfire to assure the ultimate level of gooeyness. (Note, again, that having a beard complicates this option.)

In a campfire setting, this latter version offers the opportunity for burnt fingers and the frustration of wafers and chocolate pieces constantly falling into the campfire, with the additional difficulties being compounded by this commonly being an activity for later in the evening after a few too many camping beverages have been consumed.  Suffice to say, too many s’mores eaten in this condition makes the next morning a lot harder to experience.

Then, there are the wild and crazy crowd who feast upon nonconventional s’mores, manufactured in microwaves in condo kitchens, denying the truly wild nature of the delicacy itself. This involves constant supervision, as anyone who has watched the almost obscene growth speed and behaviour exhibited by a marshmallow in a microwave.

(Those of us who were raised on 1950s black and white science fiction movie monsters and have microwaved marshmallows are constantly amazed at how prescient those movie directors were.)

Should you choose a more conformist method of making s’mores, please remember that perfection lies in the toasting of the marshmallow itself. You have to wait until the fire is coals, and woe betide the one who attempts to do so right after throwing in a new piece of wood or two.  They’re flammable little buggers.

Ideally, your marshmallow should be brown around the outside.  While picky, even I will tolerate the tops and bottoms not being thoroughly toasted golden brown.  They also have to be done evenly, not brown and smooth one one side and white on the other.  Done to the point of wartiness is no-no, as any chef knows the value of presentation. Setting them aflame is beyond the bounds of good taste.

Note that if it does burst into flames, blowing it out is a requirement. Waving it out on the end of the stick must be avoided, particularly if someone is directly across the campfire from you. While your children may yell, “Wow, that’s cool,” setting your domestic partner’s hair on fire does little for domesticity and sleeping on the picnic table is not preferable to doing so inside your tent or camper. Remember that it rains here often.

The camping season here is, sadly, shorter than in southern climes, even for the most hardy. This relegates you to either committing s’more blasphemy and using the microwave, or becoming a bit more flexible about your means of combustion. Hence, a good s’more aficionado is willing to forgo full tradition and embrace the concept of the propane barbecue.

You can approach this in a standard method, or can improvise. I am the owner of a s’more maker.  It has two kebab holder-style pins you skewer and place your marshmallows on while it also has a rack for heating your Graham wafers and chocolate.

I’m not a gadget person, per se, and “as advertised on TV” to me means “doesn’t work worth a tinker’s damn. This thing, however, works great even if you could get away with a long fork.

This brings us to the concept of the perfect s’more. Is there such a thing? I’ve seen so many varieties of doing them that it probably doesn’t exist in one form. My suggestion: If it has a cooked marshmallow, Graham wafers, and chocolate, and isn’t burnt to the point of cremation, it’s probably pretty good.  So, regardless of its mode of creation, feel free to indulge…

 

 

 

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A word of warning

It is rare that, despite all of their faults, I would feel the need to warn someone about a Yukon campground. As a rule, they are safe, quiet, and a wonderful place to stay. They are scenic and most are on water.

However, I did see something this weekend at the Kusawa Lake campground that makes me wonder what some people are like.

The people in the next campsite have a 22’ aluminum boat. They were tied to the wharf next to the boat launch at the end, since they need reasonably deep water. On Saturday, they asked if I could move my boat, tied to the next wharf, a little further down the wharf to make room for them to tie there.

I had no problem with the request, although I was a bit curious. There was a rather stiff southerly wind and they were tied to the north side of the wharf, a far better place, particularly for a larger, taller boat.

After they got tied up, I asked why they moved. They told me they found a note in the boat. Someone had gone on their boat, went into the cabin, and left a note on their dash. Paraphrased, since I didn’t actually see it, the note said, “This wharf is for launching boats. If you leave it tied here, I will cut your lines and you can go looking for your boat at the end of the lake.”

Suffice to say, it is more than a little creepy.

Remember that this is one of the few wharves here and there is no rule about tying up here. And, what sort of wingnut threatens to cut a $150,000 boat loose because he or she doesn’t like the place you moored your boat.

So, when you come to Kusawa Lake, keep in the back of your mind that there is some congenital idiot out there who cannot be trusted. And, this is a sad state of affairs…